Too hot! Too hot!
We've hit that point in the summer when life is just hot. These are the dog days of tour. We are challenged daily. The challenges we meet as best we can. This week on tour for "The Winter's Tale" was a tale of two cities as we hit South Pasadena and Long Beach.
It was the best of times in South Pas! It was way too hot, but hey it's Pasadena in July. The show was the best it has ever been. Everybody was killing it! Justin filled in for Cy beautifully. He brings a different energy to Autolocus. Cy is great. Justin is great. It's fun to watch them both do their thing. I had so many friends turn up in the crowd. Including some of the best actors I've had the pleasure of working with. There's something special in the air when you are performing for peers and those you admire. It's not that you try harder, or want it more. But you kind of do. And to have them, the people I admire greatly, love what I'm doing means the world. I'm really proud of this show! I love everybody in it! And getting to do it is an honor and a privilege. Nights like Thursday make me remember why I am still doing SBTS after all these years.
Saturday night in Long Beach was the worst of times. It's a lovely venue. When we put the set up in a park like this, it's truly beautiful. (Last year we couldn't put up the set, as my four loyal reader will remember because they had a shade screen hanging. They took it down for us this year, and man was our set pretty in that backdrop). The people couldn't have been more lovely. Except the pack of children sitting right down front who were screaming and running amok, and apparently without adult supervision. I'm pretty good at overcoming distractions. I've been doing this a long time. I was recently interviewed about the challenges of outdoor Shakespeare, and I said we were good at dealing with pretty much everything thrown our way. I feel like I may have brought this on myself. Apollo heard my hubris and sent these children to humble me. They were relentless. Screaming, running up and down through the audience! (And however bad you think this is...triple it and you'll scratch the surface of how bad it really was). It was a challenge beyond my ability to deal. And yes, they were asked to be quiet several times by our tour manager which would settle them for maybe a minute. Finally at intermission, a local school teacher took control and told them to take their shenanigans to another part of the park. So, the second half of the play was easier. But I was already broken. I despaired. And for the first time in a long time, I asked myself. Why do I do this? I tried to use all of my actor training to try to rise above it. But it beat me. I wanted to quit. Acting. I used that broken-ness in the second half. Leontes is broken, so I found something in that, actually. A truth that was deeper than I had been living. But the price was way too high. The entirety of my performance for a moment of truth isn't great. And then after the show a woman asked us if we had other jobs and if this was our hobby and I wanted to shoot myself in the head.
So we went to the bar and had some whiskeys and some beers and put ourselves back together. And sitting here, I'm still fuming a little bit. I'm sad that I let those children beat me. I don't know what I could have done other than what I did, but I don't like being beaten and broken. I wasn't able to give the performance that the rest of the audience deserved. I wasn't able to give the performance that I deserve! I do this because it's my art. It's not a fucking hobby. It's my life. I ask for very little. I accept a lot of things. But last night I had to accept something that is unacceptable and I've lived my life not doing that.
I wish I had a performance tonight so I could get that one out of my life. But, I'll try to focus on the beauty and perfection of South Pas. And remember once again that what we do is important...to most.
It was the best of times in South Pas! It was way too hot, but hey it's Pasadena in July. The show was the best it has ever been. Everybody was killing it! Justin filled in for Cy beautifully. He brings a different energy to Autolocus. Cy is great. Justin is great. It's fun to watch them both do their thing. I had so many friends turn up in the crowd. Including some of the best actors I've had the pleasure of working with. There's something special in the air when you are performing for peers and those you admire. It's not that you try harder, or want it more. But you kind of do. And to have them, the people I admire greatly, love what I'm doing means the world. I'm really proud of this show! I love everybody in it! And getting to do it is an honor and a privilege. Nights like Thursday make me remember why I am still doing SBTS after all these years.
Saturday night in Long Beach was the worst of times. It's a lovely venue. When we put the set up in a park like this, it's truly beautiful. (Last year we couldn't put up the set, as my four loyal reader will remember because they had a shade screen hanging. They took it down for us this year, and man was our set pretty in that backdrop). The people couldn't have been more lovely. Except the pack of children sitting right down front who were screaming and running amok, and apparently without adult supervision. I'm pretty good at overcoming distractions. I've been doing this a long time. I was recently interviewed about the challenges of outdoor Shakespeare, and I said we were good at dealing with pretty much everything thrown our way. I feel like I may have brought this on myself. Apollo heard my hubris and sent these children to humble me. They were relentless. Screaming, running up and down through the audience! (And however bad you think this is...triple it and you'll scratch the surface of how bad it really was). It was a challenge beyond my ability to deal. And yes, they were asked to be quiet several times by our tour manager which would settle them for maybe a minute. Finally at intermission, a local school teacher took control and told them to take their shenanigans to another part of the park. So, the second half of the play was easier. But I was already broken. I despaired. And for the first time in a long time, I asked myself. Why do I do this? I tried to use all of my actor training to try to rise above it. But it beat me. I wanted to quit. Acting. I used that broken-ness in the second half. Leontes is broken, so I found something in that, actually. A truth that was deeper than I had been living. But the price was way too high. The entirety of my performance for a moment of truth isn't great. And then after the show a woman asked us if we had other jobs and if this was our hobby and I wanted to shoot myself in the head.
So we went to the bar and had some whiskeys and some beers and put ourselves back together. And sitting here, I'm still fuming a little bit. I'm sad that I let those children beat me. I don't know what I could have done other than what I did, but I don't like being beaten and broken. I wasn't able to give the performance that the rest of the audience deserved. I wasn't able to give the performance that I deserve! I do this because it's my art. It's not a fucking hobby. It's my life. I ask for very little. I accept a lot of things. But last night I had to accept something that is unacceptable and I've lived my life not doing that.
I wish I had a performance tonight so I could get that one out of my life. But, I'll try to focus on the beauty and perfection of South Pas. And remember once again that what we do is important...to most.
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